[identity profile] sonotgoingthere.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] kinkofthemonth
Title: Respite
Author: [personal profile] hugglewolf Recipient: [personal profile] lorenquille 
Pairing: Teyla/Elizabeth
Rating: NC17/R
Challenge“Valentine's Day Stalker Challenge"
Prompt: John/Rodney, Teyla/Elizabeth. Spanking, bondage, begging, orgasm denial, pain.
Kinks: Bondage, D/s, Toys
Word Count: 3167


Life has to have an order to it, a sense of proportion, of timing. If it doesn’t, then the random things that take us pleasantly by surprise, that make us feel part of something greater than ourselves, cease to have meaning. The spontaneity becomes commonplace, and the energy spent by the universe in making an ordinary moment astounding has been wasted.

Which may have accounted for why, standing on a balcony, looking out from the most amazing place in two galaxies, I felt my reason for being there ebbing away like the tides that gently rocked the great city of Atlantis.

“So it didn’t go to plan,” John said. He moved forward to stand next to me, resting his firm hands on the rail. “We’re used to that, right? We’d be bored if nothing ever went wrong.”

I gave him a smile; he deserved it for coming out here, trying to lighten my mood. Usually, he managed it; there was something about the way life sparked in his eyes, and he managed to live through hell and come through the other side apparently unscathed. It made you feel as though you might as well, while he was there, although I was less fooled by his supposedly undented armour than I had been two years before.

“I don’t know about that,” I replied. “So far, we haven’t had a chance to find out.” I might be more easily buoyed when the IOA weren’t scurrying about the city, burrowing deep into every department. It was depressing to see the effect their actions were having; morale wasn’t sinking as much as it was diving off the cliff wearing a concrete lifejacket.

John nudged my arm. “You need to work on that optimistic streak, Pollyanna. Look, so we have a major pest infestation. What are they going to turn up? That we fought and are still fighting tooth and nail against the Wraith? That we’ve taken chances, tried to create options out of spit and bad luck? That we used whatever weapons we had at our disposal, as honourably and as ethically as we could? If they were in charge, things would have been done a lot differently.”

“They’re probably thinking that exact same thing.”

“Differently...not better.”

I took a deep breath, letting the air fill my lungs, and blew it out slowly. Slipping my radio back into my ear, I turned my back on the ocean. I was effectively under review, which meant that while some parts of my job could be done as usual, any command decisions were temporarily on hold. Since we were not on alert at present, it meant I only had the day to day running of the city to concern myself with. It still felt like I’d been locked out of my office, and that half the city was occupied by a foreign power.

“I hope they agree with you, Colonel. But I have a feeling that they won’t.”

The doors slid open, and I was almost through when John called after me, “Then they need to get out there, and see first hand what it’s like.”

They should, he was right, but they wouldn’t. That wasn’t how they worked.

*-*

The doors opened, and a heavy scent billowed out at me. Teyla’s quarters always smelled like they were part of the great outdoors; I wouldn’t have been surprised to see trees, and hear the distant roar of a waterfall.

Instead, I found her sitting cross legged on her bed, the only light coming from several pillar candles placed strategically around the room. Her eyes were closed, but she knew I was there. I pulled up a chair and sat down to wait.

After a few moments, she opened her eyes and smiled at me. “I thought you would have come sooner.”

I slipped the tablet PC under the chair. I shouldn’t have been there at all. Although it was early evening, and I had been working since dawn, the IOA agents would probably consider this slacking off. “They’re into everything. Pulling files from our first days here, even. Things that have already been gone over, reviewed by the SGC.” I shook my head in frustration. “Things that have nothing to do with the present issue.”

Teyla watched me, calmly. “Perhaps everything is related to this situation.”

Anger churned suddenly in my stomach. This place was my refuge, or rather Teyla was, and to hear her state so evenly the IOA party line was more than I could take for today.

“Perhaps you think you could have done better?” I asked, icily. Teyla knew what we had been through since our arrival in Atlantis. She had had her doubts about the plan – we all had, to some extent, but our long-term options to defeat the Wraith had been limited at best. It was amazing how many people had gone from ‘it’s what we should do’ to ‘I protested to Dr. Weir how terrible this plan was’ as soon as the IOA had come through the gate. I just hadn’t expected Teyla to be among them.

When her face darkened, I felt my temper stutter and fade. Rarely did I see Teyla’s more negative moods; no doubt she experienced them, but she was better able to hold them in check than the rest of us. She unfolded her legs, and stepped off of the bed. “Do you think that I am criticising you? That I believe you have shown poor judgement in your leadership? If I did, you would have known it before now.”

I got up, anxious to start over. “Teyla, I-“

There was no chance to finish. Teyla grabbed the front of my tunic with one hand, and locked the other around my neck. She hauled me forward, closing the space between us, and pressed her mouth to mine. Her tongue darted inside, pushing firmly against my own, while I was too breathless and taken aback to respond.

Finally, she broke away, leaving me with one hand pressed to my chest, and reaching back for the chair with the other.

“You came here for more than my counsel, Elizabeth.”

I steadied myself with the chair for balance, and tried to get my head off the merry-go-round. Had I? More than probably. I needed somewhere IOA-free, even for a little while, and I was quickly being convinced that nowhere in either galaxy met that criteria. I didn’t speak until my breathing evened out, and the words didn’t feel so strained.

“I need.... Teyla, I just need not to have to worry about them for a while.” I was not stranger to the way bureaucracy worked. Succeed, and everyone was your friend, and had always been your most ardent supporter. Fail, and Caesar’s Ides of March seemed like a birthday celebration by comparison. But this time was different; Atlantis was more than an assignment, and the very real possibility that I might be sent home was overshadowed by the loathing I felt for those men and women as they picked over the records and reports.

It was absurd, but it felt to me like an act of desecration. They had no idea, and no respect for the struggle that my people had fought, and for those who had died fighting it. What would they have done?

“Elizabeth.” Teyla’s voice cut through my jumbled thoughts, sharp but not cruel. I looked at her, confused by the brief sadness in her eyes, so at odds with the firm set of her mouth. “They are not welcome here. In any form.” She reached up to stroke my temple, and I closed my eyes, praying for that touch never to leave my skin. But it did, and I gave a low whine.

I heard a click, and looked around to see that Teyla had locked the doors. My insides did a queasy tumble; much as I needed to be here, if the IOA found me taking some personal time of any type, I would be in even more trouble. If they somehow walked in on us, I might as well start packing my bags right now.

When Teyla’s hand closed on my wrist, her fingers tight and almost bruising, I pushed the IOA out of my mind. She was right. Outside, they now had considerable control over my personal and working life. In here, they had none, until I chose to let them.

Teyla drew me towards the bed, and turned me to face her. “Remove your clothing. Slowly, so that I may watch.”

This was something I still struggled with. Undressing before sex was no problem at all; once or twice I’d even put on a little show for Simon, dragging it out naughtily like an amateur stripper. Even when he lay in bed watching me, he was still participating, still involved. When Teyla stood back and watched me take off my clothes, it was almost like being appraised. I knew her game, but it didn’t help me shake the feeling, especially when she never showed any reaction.

When I was naked, she bent to pick up my clothes, and quickly folded them and put them on the chair. Returning to me, she moved around me, and her stare felt heavy on my skin. Once or twice, I felt her reach out to touch me, and only pull away within millimetres of my body. I wanted to move back, try to catch her out, anything to feel her skin on mine. But I knew the rules. This was on Teyla’s terms, and if I tried to change that, it would stop.

I needed it so badly that any thought of that almost let the tears work their way to the surface.

When she took hold of my wrists, and pulled them together against the small of my back, I lost my balance in surprise. She moved in to steady me, while her fingers drew firm knots in the leather now binding my hands. It was strong, and stayed taut as I tested it. I knew I wouldn’t get free from any knot Teyla tied, but it was only human nature to try. As soon as I accepted that, I felt something shift off my shoulders, as though I had been wearing a soaking wet blanket.

“Lie on the bed. On your back.”

I had to sit on the edge first, then scoot backwards until I could lie back and have my head on the pillows. Teyla followed, moving with a grace that was almost inhumanly perfect to begin with and now seemed only magnified by my bound wriggles. My breath came fast and shallow, nothing to do with the exertion of positioning myself as requested without the aid of my hands. She was still dressed, but more provocative in her movements than she could have been even naked.

Still, I hoped she would be before long.

“Do you want me to touch you?” she asked.

I didn’t trust my voice, so I nodded instead. I wanted, and I needed it. She knew it, and asking was another way of reinforcing who was in charge here. Who was in control.

Her fingertips traced a path along my collarbone, and then down the centre of my chest. She paused midway between my breasts, and then moved to cup one, rubbing along the swell of it. “Yes,” she murmured, almost to herself, as I took a breath and held it. I almost knew what was coming, but when her finger and thumb closed on my nipple, and squeezed it tight, I gave a wordless cry.

The pressure didn’t let up. If anything, Teyla squeezed harder. I started to sit up on reflex, but she moved quickly, slipped a knee across my abdomen to keep me prone.

“Teyla,” I pleaded, writhing at the fire burning between her fingertips.

She released me without warning, and the pain that flared was worse than before. My nipple throbbed, almost in time to my pulse, and then Teyla’s mouth was on it, her tongue laving the tender flesh. It almost made the pain worse, each stroke an agony of its own. After a few moments, she kissed her way along to my other breast, and took that nipple into her mouth.

I tensed, fearing further torment, but inside Teyla sucked noisily at my tit. I moaned at the sensation. Her tongue danced across it, and the pleasure was a polar opposite to the ache still burning in its twin.

I was almost distracted from the skimming touch as her left hand slid downwards across my stomach, pausing to tangle fingers in my thatch. I shifted, trying to afford her better access, and my reward was a sudden sharp crescent of pain as her teeth sank into my breast, creating broken ridges of agony that drew a wail from me.

Teyla sat up, and crawled across my body, pushing my legs apart until she was able to kneel between them.

“You should not be so eager,” she cautioned, and slowly spread me open.

To try and put in words what it felt like to have someone slowly expose you, just for the pleasure of studying you so intimately, while you can do nothing about it, is like trying to describe what it’s like to breathe or wake up in the morning and face another day that you’re pretty sure is going to be better than the last. Teyla was barely even touching me, and yet my body was hyper-sensitive, increasing any sensation exponentially until every inch of me was like a separate creature, quivering impatiently.

Her fingers rubbed roughly over my clit, sending exquisite pleasure jangling through me. I moaned, and rolled from side to side on the bed, aware of the ache in my arms from them being bound in such an uncomfortable position. Teyla shifted to stay with me, and her fingers never let up the pressure for even a second. She brought her other hand into play, and two fingers slipped inside me, thrusting and rocking, scissoring as they toyed with me. My legs closed reflexively over her hand, whether trying to drive it out or keep it where it was, I had no idea. Teyla used her thigh to block it, and moved her fingers faster, driving me so close to the edge at such speed that I felt sure I was going over.

My head fell back, a scream forming in my throat as I got ready to come. I could feel it starting to rip through me; every inch of my body was fevered and tense.

And then, without warning, Teyla sat back. She shifted her hands to my thighs, and rubbed lazy circles in the flesh.

“Teyla,” I moaned, brokenly. All the energy, the need she’d stirred in me was left hanging uselessly in mid air, like a current trying to bridge a broken circuit. It sparked desperately, setting off a chain reaction in my body. I jerked my hips urgently, trying to entice her back. “Teyla, come on.”

That smirk was back, and I wondered what it would take to get her to finish. I’d been so damn close, and she’d stopped.

“Yes, Elizabeth? Do you wish me to continue?”

I thumped my head on the pillow. If I said yes, she’d drag it out some. Saying no could have unpredictable results. I glared stubbornly at her.

“I see,” she said, and leaned across me to reach into her beside unit. When she lifted out a thick blue vibe, I felt my insides clench. Where she had gotten that, I didn’t know, but it was my fault for introducing her to sex toys several months before. She had no liking for them herself, but she did enjoy using them on me.

I didn’t have a problem with that, as such – it was one of the more enjoyable games we played, but this was the first time we’d used bondage at the same time, and the first time out for the monster she was placing between my legs. “Teyla,” I protested.

She stared at me, calmly. “If you wish to stop, Elizabeth, you need only say.”

It was tempting. I didn’t know what it was going to feel like, or how far Teyla was taking this. But I trusted her, and she seemed mostly to have a better idea of what I needed than I did myself. I snagged my bottom lip between my teeth, and hissed as she slipped the vibe inside and I was stretched to take it.

She had it fully inserted before too long, and rested a hand on my abdomen, murmuring soothing sounds as I got used to being so full. Without warning, she set it off, and I almost flipped off the bed.

“Easy,” she urged.

“It’s too much,” I begged. It felt like having something alive in there, something thudding desperately inside me, as if trying to get out. “Take it out.”

I caught a flash of brown leather in her hands, and watched as she wrapped a length of the same material that bound my wrists around my waist. It was pulled tight, and then a second length knotted around its middle. Teyla drew that piece down, and slipped it beneath me. I was forced to elevate my hips, and she pulled the leather strip tight, sealing the vibe inside me.

“Teyla, please,” I urged. The leather pushed it further in, if that was possible, and I shuddered as I came too close. The vibrations were so powerful that they almost hurt, but Teyla rubbed her way up my body, until she could kiss me.

“Easy,” she said again, and then I came, my body pushing up into hers, thrashing and moaning, until everything slipped away.

*_*

I felt crumpled up and wrung out, and could only lie there as Teyla slipped the vibe out of me. She rolled me over to undo my bonds, and then slipped into bed next to me.

I felt like grumbling at her. I throbbed, like the vibe was still inside me, rubbing at already sore spots. At the same time, I could barely recall the anxiety that had chased me in here, although I knew it would return. All I knew at the moment was that Teyla was lying warm next to me, and naked.

I glanced down at her. “When did that happen?”

She brought my head to rest on her shoulder. “While you were recovering. Did I take things too far?”

I paused. On a normal day – if such a thing existed in my life – I might have said yes. Today was no such day, and she had driven the spectre of the IOA away for a while. I hoped they hadn’t been trying to contact me, as any questions about my whereabouts could lead to me having to lie to them. Not a good plan, but I didn’t regret taking this time with Teyla.

“No,” I said. “You took them just far enough.”
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